Honorable Mentions: TV's "Best" Moms

Since it's a slow TV week (it's Summer after all, go outside and play!) and we received positive feedback on our hottest tv women list, I'm going to delve into the first our honorable mention categories. It was made apparent to me than none of the women listed in our initial list play someone's mom - except Elizabeth Mitchell, who will on V; and Jenna Fischer, though I'm choosing to ignore the fact that The Office writers want me to care about her character being pregnant (allegedly). So without further ado, here's a list of TV's most photogenic "moms" who weren't quite photogenic enough to make our initial list:


Connie Britton: Friday Night Lights


















Britton plays Tami Taylor, the wife of friend of the blog Kyle Chandler's (call us, Kyle) main character on the underrated Friday Night Lights. Not only is she a smoking hot older lady, but she gets special mention here for pulling off the impressive mother-daughter hotness combo alongside the (*checks to see if she's 18 yet*) also very hot Aimee Teegarden. I respect any show that can not only incorporate that much talent into one family but also manage to include Gambit.

Ali Larter: Heroes





















This one is kind of cheating since the character Ali Larter currently plays is no longer the mother of Jheri curled boy genius Micah. But whatever Heroes, I'm not going to bother to keep track of your continuity if you only pay casual attention to it yourselves. And I'm lazy, so Ali Larter qualifies. She can't act, her character(s) are annoying, and they keep teasing us with killing her off only to bring her back. But she's hot. And that's what this list is about.


Katherine Heigl: Grey's Anatomy





















You may have noticed that the rest of the list features photos of the character alongside their in-show children, but fuck you if you think I'm going to spend any time trolling through Grey's Anatomy screens. You're lucky I took the time to Wikipedia whether this character has a child. I have nothing to say about her on-screen work, I believe my feelings on this p.o.s. show are evident. I have nothing to say about her off-camera bitchiness. I don't care. Katherine Heigl is hot. Here are hot pictures of her. fin.

Grace Park: Battlestar Galactica


























Grace Park would not have made the list if Mike was writing this post since:

A) He didn't watch Battlestar, and:
B) He doesn't have the Yellow Fever.

It's his loss, since it's not only one of the greatest shows of all time, but Grace Park is in it. Her character didn't often bring the sexy since she was usually in flightsuits and the like, but just check out her Maxim shoot if you need proof. Oh, and I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the thoroughly unsexy rape scene she was in on the Season Two dvd deleted scenes. I'll wait while you google that.

Mary-Louise Parker: Weeds





















Mary-Louise Parker is pushing 45, but she can still bring it. She was hot in The West Wing, she's hot on Weeds, she's hot in everything she's been in (too lazy to imdb her). I only occasionally watch Weeds, and I've been told it sucks now, which is too bad since it was a show about drugs. And I'm told those are fun. Oh, and for the record, I don't believe there's anyway that a woman who looks like that would produce a kid that fugly. Come on, Weeds.

TV's Ten Hottest Women (5-1)

Here's the rest of the list which we began yesterday:

5. Cobie Smulders: How I Met Your Mother (Brett: 9, Mike: 4)


























Mike Says: We've now got three Canadians in a row and Smulders leads us off. Probably the most under appreciated hottie on this list as she's never gotten the kind of press a lot of the other women on here have. It's a tribute to her charm, hotness and comedic chops that she's got many How I Met Your Mother fans hoping for a twist which makes Aunt Robin the mother.

Brett Says: I have to give Cobie Smulders props for being one of the few actresses on this list whose characters I can remotely stand. How I Met Your Mother (the official show of bambat) is so often dominated by the comedic stylings of NPH and Jason Segal that it is easy to overlook Smulders. She's more than just a pretty face, however, as she can seriously bring the funny. And if you need proof, here's the debut hit from 90s popstar Robin Sparkles:




4. Evangeline Lilly: Lost (Brett: 5, Mike: 6)























Mike Says: Don't let the Golden Globe nomination fool you. Anyone who tries to defend Lilly's acting is kidding himself worse than a hopeful Air France 447 relative [ed: I can't be held responsible for Mike's off-color jokes - brett]. The producers of Lost haven't had her in her underwear in a while, so I hope they saved the best for the last season.

Brett Says: Evangeline Lilly always presents a significant challenge for me. On the one hand, she's without a doubt the worst actress on this list. It's not even close. And the fact that her annoying acting has to gum up the works of one of my favorite shows has never made me a big fan. On the other hand, she's smoking hot. Seasons One and Two of Lost seemed to be a neverending series of shots framed around Kate's ass. And it was good. But the show has gone away from that, and now Kate is just dead weight. I feel that the best solution for everyone would be if Kate's ass got its own spin off. Make it happen, J.J Abrams.


3. Sarah Chalke: Scrubs (Brett: 4, Mike: 5)


























Mike Says: Speaking of underwear, there was a couple years on Scrubs where it seemed like a weekly requirement for Chalke to strip down. While that tapered off and her acting got increasingly over-the-top and annoying, she remains one of the hottest on television. When she guest starred on How I Met Your Mother, it was icing on the cake. By cake I mean my boxer shorts and by icing I mean...

Brett Says: I'm with Mike in missing the days when Dr. Elliot Reid got in her bra on a weekly basis. In fact, get Bill Lawrence on the phone, I think I have an idea for the best way to keep Scrubs alive post-Braff. I think the previous three choices just show us that Canada really can churn them out. Speaking of Chalke in a bra, here's a montage to prove it (sorry about the Zapruder-like quality, I'm not any more invested in this than grabbing the first youtube hit for "Elliot Reid sexy"):




2. Hayden Panettiere: Heroes (Brett: 2, Mike: 3)























Mike Says: The only American in our top 5, it took me a while to climb on board the Hayden train (which the perverted Brett has been riding since Remember the Titans), but better late than never. I can only hope that as she gets older, the producers of Heroes will transition her from cute innocent cheerleader into a full blown sex symbol (read: prostitute).

Brett Says: I know it's all the vogue these days to call Hayden sexy, but as Mike points out I was up on that long before the masses took notice. The same thing happened with Lohan, who I first fell in love with in The Parent Trap (hey, I was only 13 too, shut up). But she's dead to me now, replaced by Hayden. During the first season of Heroes I feel like Mike and I had her all to ourselves.. But then she turned 18 and it's like... what's the point anymore? Oh next big jailbait sensation, where are you?!? ... If you need me, I'll be in my dark gray van.


1. Yvonne Strahovski: Chuck (Brett: 1, Mike: 1)






















Mike Says: Another one on the list I know nothing about. I only watched the first two or three episodes of Chuck, but I've seen enough of this one to know she's the hottest thing on TV. Thankfully, it seems the makers of Chuck know what they've got. This year, Victoria's Secret decided not to televise their annual fashion show, airing back to back episodes of Chuck instead.

Brett Says: The female lead on the most criminally underrated show on television, I think it speaks volumes of Strahovski that she was our consensus #1 without Mike even watching the show. I think her hotness speaks for itself, so I won't even bother making a joke. Chuck producers clearly know what they have and how to use it, as evidenced by this video from the show's official Hulu channel, which seems to exist for no other reason than for you, the reader, to pleasure yourself to. You sick fuck:

TV's Ten Hottest Women (10-6)

In the great tradition of blogging laziness, when nothing is going on of note on which to comment or report, we must resort to the old "top 10 list" standby. And in the great tradition of males everywhere, Mike and I put our heads together (the upper heads. pervert.) and came up with our composite list of the Ten Hottest Women on TV. Of course this wasn't a scientific study. There were no holistic rankings and no in-depth analysis. Mike made a list of who he thinks is hot, sent it to me, and I combined it with my list. This is inherently subjective of course, and more weight was given to women each of us were familiar with. Those qualified are series regulars on shows which are either currently running, just canceled, or about to premiere. As it happens, we didn't end up with any "women of cable" on our list, so they may get their own post.

Here are numbers 10-6:

10. Olivia Wilde: House (Brett: 6, Mike: NR)


























Mike Says: I'd never heard of her until we started doing this list. And a quick Google image safe search doesn't have me convinced she belongs on it. She's a far better choice than #7, however.

Brett Says: It was difficult choosing between her and Jennifer Morrison for what House actress to rank, though the latter's lack of significant screentime of late made it an easier choice. Not to mention that this is the same Olivia Wilde that Megan Fox famously said that she would do. I'll give you a minute while you clean off your keyboard... We good? Okay. Wilde's greatest asset is probably those ridiculously sexy eyes of hers. In terms of "eye talent" she's a modern day Susanna Hoffs, but without the perm. Unfortunately looking at those eyes also draws your gaze to her ridiculously large forehead, which is what keeps her from being higher on the list.


9. Elizabeth Mitchell: Lost, V (Brett: 8, Mike: 8)





















Mike Says: I read a quote from her once. "Boobs, boobs. Boobs boobs boobs boobs. Boobs, boobs boobs, boobs." I think you'll agree she makes a compelling point. (Or is it two points?)

Brett Says: The list's resident "senior citizen", clocking in at the ripe age of 39, Mitchell can still bring it. And by "it" I mean boobs. Not to mention that she's one of the few women on this list who are also good actresses. Mitchell broke up the sad monotony of terrible women on Lost, and she will be sorely missed next season when she moves on to V, which is looking excellent in no small part thanks to Mitchell. She also seems to be one of those rare actresses who has actually gotten hotter as she's aged, which is no small feat. Oh, and as if you needed further convincing, here's her mud wrestling scene with Evangeline Lilly on Lost:




8. Jenna Fischer: The Office (Brett: 7, Mike: 9)























Mike Says: I almost considered leaving her off my top 10 for hotness. She falls much more squarely into the "cute as a button" category, but as her movie work has shown, she can bring it when necessary. Even though the makers of The (lesser) Office don't seem to realize this.

Brett Says: Even though her character on The Office is not particularly funny or endearing, there is no denying that Jenna Fischer has endeared herself to my pants. While those of us who would be content to tune in for "Dwight and Andy Go To Work" are forced to suffer through the Jim-Pam crap meant to appeal to overweight housewives (the Phyllis demographic), at least we have Fischer to look at. While I won't defend her making the once funny Jim into a glorified lap dog, I will defend her right to pose nude for Jane Magazine.


7. Summer Glau: Terminator: TSCC (Brett: 3, Mike: NR)


























Mike Says: She doesn't belong on this list. There, I said it. She looks like some sort of mongoloid extraterrestrial. I can't speak to her acting ability as I've not been remotely interested in anything she's done. Maybe her appeal comes from seeing her in motion, but I can't imagine it changing anything.

Brett Says: Summer Glau is the perfect example of why I am a nerd and Mike is not. Nerds love Summer Glau. And what's not to love? She's both an excellent actress and insanely hot. Plus, she was in Firefly. And The 4400. And.. Well, I won't defend Terminator (hey, season one was good!) I realize that she's an acquired taste, but any self-respecting nerd would jump off a bridge for a chance at Summer Glau. The Big Bang Theory actually based a whole episode around this premise, which I will embed here just to piss off Mike:




6. Anna Friel: Pushing Daisies (Brett: NR, Mike: 2)






















Mike Says: Like Fischer, she's got cute overload. One of the best parts of the brilliantly underrated and shamefully cancelled gem that was Pushing Daisies. She's smoking hot, has a British accent in real life, and her chemistry with leading man Lee Pace was legendary. Ignore Brett.

Brett Says: At this very moment on a blog called bambat, young Brett had spent nine minutes, twenty seven seconds, and forty three nanoseconds trying to come up with something positive to say about Pushing Daisies. He had spent four minutes surfing Google Reader, three minutes answering a phone call, and seven seconds blowing his nose. When Brett was younger, his mother had taught him that if you have nothing nice to say, it is better to say nothing at all. So young Brett spent one second composing the following observation, and not a second more: Anna Friel is hot.


Stay tuned for the rest of the top 10.