CBS has some procedurals, boring sitcoms for you

Favorite network of the idiotic, infirm, and your grandmother CBS has released their fall premiere schedule today. Since we like to try and cover all of these (after all, the posts practically write themselves and I don't get paid for this) we'll bring it to you here. With jokes. Which is something CBS doesn't have many of. Because all their shows are CSI, NCIS, or other sundry procedurals.. get it? Actually, if comedies are your thing, they have several top-rated crappy ones for you as well (we're looking at you, Two and a Half Men). If it weren't for official show of bambat How I Met Your Mother (and The Big Bang Theory, but don't tell Mike) this network would be completely unwatchable. Oh, Survivor is back too. Bully for you, CBS. The full premiere schedule:

Thursday, Sept. 17
8:00-9:00 PM SURVIVOR: SAMOA (19th Installment Premiere)

Monday, Sept. 21
8:00-8:30 PM HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER (5th Season Premiere)
8:30-9:00 PM ACCIDENTALLY ON PURPOSE (Series Debut)
9:00-9:30 PM TWO AND A HALF MEN (7th Season Premiere)
9:30-10:00 PM THE BIG BANG THEORY (3rd Season Premiere)
10:00-11:00 PM CSI: MIAMI (8th Season Premiere)

Tuesday, Sept. 22
8:00-9:00 PM NCIS (7th Season Premiere)
9:00-10:00 PM NCIS: LOS ANGELES (Series Debut)
10:00-11:00 PM THE GOOD WIFE (Series Debut)

Wednesday, Sept. 23
8:00-8:30 PM THE NEW ADVENTURES OF OLD CHRISTINE
(5th Season Premiere)
8:30-9:00 PM GARY UNMARRIED (2nd Season Premiere)
9:00-10:00 PM CRIMINAL MINDS (5th Season Premiere)
10:00-11:00 PM CSI: NY (6th Season Premiere)

Thursday, Sept. 24
9:00-10:00 PM CSI: CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATION (10th Season Premiere)
10:00-11:00 PM THE MENTALIST (2nd Season Premiere)

Friday, Sept. 25
8:00-9:00 PM GHOST WHISPERER (5th Season Premiere)
9:00-10:00 PM MEDIUM (Network Debut)
10:00-11:00 PM NUMBERS (6th Season Premiere)

Saturday, Sept. 26
8:00-9:00 PM CRIMETIME SATURDAY
9:00-10:00 PM CRIMETIME SATURDAY
10:00-11:00 PM 48 HOURS MYSTERY (Season Premiere)

Sunday, Sept. 27
7:00-8:00 PM 60 MINUTES (42nd Season Premiere)
8:00-10:00 PM THE AMAZING RACE (15th Edition Premiere)
10:00-11:00 PM COLD CASE (7th Season Premiere)

Sunday, Oct. 4
9:00-10:00 PM THREE RIVERS (Series Debut)

via the live feed

More of what you didn't care about

CBS has announced that they are ordering at least three more editions of a show so stupid it actually causes me physical pain. I never watched I Get That A Lot other than the 14 seconds I just spent grabbing a clip, but essentially the idea seems to be putting "celebrities" into everyday jobs to see if people will stroke their egos by noticing. Whoop-de-doo.

Apparently 10 million idiots people watched this when it aired in April featuring Jessica Simpson, Heidi Klum, and Jeff Probst (I'm pretty sure he hosts one of those reality things). I hate it when celebrities think they're being clever, the only reason Punk'd was remotely tolerable is because at least they looked like idiots. Well, they do here too, though more ironically. Below is the clip of Jessica Simpson's "performance". Not only can she not stop smirking, but I'm pretty sure "hat and emo glasses" is the world's most lame disguise. What, they couldn't find a fake moustache in time?




Needless to say, I'll be passing on this one.

via Hollywood Reporter