JACKSON GETS ENOUGH, STOPS

Today, as you may have read everywhere, or, if you're like me, heard shouted around the office, Michael Jackson died. No word on whether this post by Brett had anything to do with it. Now obviously, this isn't really a time for jokes, so instead I have a poem I'd like to share.

God told him "Don't you ever come around here.
Don't wanna see your face. You better disappear."
The fire left Jackson's eyes.
God's words were really clear.
Now, don't be a macho man.
Be tough. Do what you can.
I mean, no one wants to be defeated,
but sometimes your fight just isn't
funky strong enough.

Phew. That was emotional. Thanks for indulging me, guys. RIP Wacko Jacko.

DAILY/WEEKLY/WHENEVER I FEEL LIKE IT-LY NEWS ROUNDUP

DAVID CARRADINE DEAD- The 72 year old star of 'Kung Fu' was found dead in a Bangkok hotel room. If Uma Thurman had thought of using a cord around his neck and genitals, I'm not sure it would have taken her two movies to get the job done. Now the only question is, will death be enough to stop the Yellow Book ads?

EMINEM WAS IN ON IT- Sacha Baron Cohen did something at some MTV thing, Eminem stormed off and a lot of people cared for a while. It appears it was all just some big dumb stunt and the story stretched and became bigger than it ever should have been. I don't think people care about MTV any more and when they do things like this, it just comes off desperate and pathetic. Keep giving awards to Twilight and High School Musical 3; you're basically The Disney Channel.

CONAN TAKES OVER FOR LENO- The big pointy chin is replaced by big wave-like hair and good late night is had by all. I don't see why Brett has such a big problem with Leno. He likes cars and bikes, wears leather jackets, talks in a funny voice, is friends with a black guy. Okay, I'm starting to get the picture. What? It's not racist. Shut up.

SUMMER TV SUCKS- Okay, this isn't news, but come on Wipeout, I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here, So You Think You Can Dance? These are the kind of shows that make me look forward to crap like NCIS: LA and Gary, Unmarried. Okay, well maybe not Gary, Unmarried. With a lineup like that, I'm sure Brett, Amy and I will have plenty of Grade A material to draw from. Get excited.

Oh and the picture may seem unrelated, but we all have our own interpretations of what the "t" in bambat stands for.