HI, BILLY MAYS HERE TO TELL YOU ABOUT DEATH*

...four to go...

Picking up where Ed McMahon and Farrah Fawcett left off in the trend of "People whose deaths you care less about than Michael Jackson", TV pitch man Billy Mays was found dead in his home this morning. According to FOX News:

Mays was found unresponsive by his wife inside his Tampa, Fla., home at 7:45 a.m. on Sunday, according to the Tampa Police Department.

Police said there were no signs of forced entry to Mays' residence and foul play is not suspected. Authorities said an autopsy should be complete by Monday afternoon.

In a disturbing twist, he'd left the TV on the night before and ended up (not) waking up to his own infomercial. I hate when that happens. I never liked when news sites report dead people as being "found". That doesn't sound like it takes any effort at all. And who's really looking for dead people? I prefer when corpses are discovered. That makes it more exciting, like there's a bit of adventure involved, possibly a rag tag group of kids or minorities.

Oh and RIP.

Source: FOX News


*I stole that headline from a friend of mine who doesn't want to be named. So many people read bambat, he'd be afraid of the publicity.

JACKSON GETS ENOUGH, STOPS

Today, as you may have read everywhere, or, if you're like me, heard shouted around the office, Michael Jackson died. No word on whether this post by Brett had anything to do with it. Now obviously, this isn't really a time for jokes, so instead I have a poem I'd like to share.

God told him "Don't you ever come around here.
Don't wanna see your face. You better disappear."
The fire left Jackson's eyes.
God's words were really clear.
Now, don't be a macho man.
Be tough. Do what you can.
I mean, no one wants to be defeated,
but sometimes your fight just isn't
funky strong enough.

Phew. That was emotional. Thanks for indulging me, guys. RIP Wacko Jacko.