YOU HAVE MY ATTENTION

A couple days ago, the first trailer for NBC's Day One was "leaked". And by leaked, I mean was released by someone with access to a decent quality version. Here's the show in a nutshell, from NBC.com:

In the aftermath of a global event that devastates the world's infrastructures, a small band of [sexy] survivors strives to rebuild society and unravel the mysteries of why the event took place and what the future has in store.

Told from the point of view of an eclectic [read: there's an Asian guy and a black chick] group of neighbors in a Van Nuys, California apartment building, this journey of survival will show us that hope is found in the smallest of victories and heroes are born every day.

As the headline suggests, I was impressed by this trailer. The special effects especially. I would like to direct your attention to a few key moments.

1:01- Hilarious pratfall.
1:06- Riling up the 9/11 survivors.
1:34- The great Xander Berkley.
2:10-14- The gag-worthy tagline.
2:23- Horrible fake CPR.

Keep an eye on this one. Unfortunately it doesn't premiere until March of 2010, so you'll have to think of something else to do in the mean time. I suggest finding a hobby. Do people still collect things? Stamps? Post cards? Lady's fingers? Up to you.

NBC begins its assault on network TV September 14th

You mean we're finally done with these? Sweet. NBC is last in the line of major networks to release their premiere schedule. Which is just fine with me, because I've been saving up my vitriol for the only network who is actively trying to ruin television (most just do so passively). Look, don't get me wrong, NBC still has a ton of good shows. Probably the most good shows of any network. We can look forward to solid programming like Heroes, 30 Rock, The Office, and Chuck (midseason). There are also a few promising new shows like Community. But when you look past the quality programming, there it is staring you right in the face every night of the god damned week: The Jay Leno Show. NBC and that fat egotistical motherfucker are depriving us of five hours of primetime TV a week (and it's the good hours where you can allude to sex and almost swear if you're coy about it). That also means five shows worth of people who would have had jobs otherwise don't because of Jay Leno's ego. That would be one thing if he were funny, but newsflash: LENO SUCKS. 10pm Thursday night would have been the PERFECT place for you to air Mike's Pilot, peacock network. Now the world will never know what they're missing. I hope you're happy, NBC, I hope you're happy. Fuck you, Leno.

The full premiere schedule:

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 13
7-8:15 pm. – "Football Night in America"
8:15-11 pm – "NBC Sunday Night Football"

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 14
10-11 pm – "THE JAY LENO SHOW" (Series Premiere)

TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 15
8-10 pm – "The Biggest Loser"
10-11 pm – "THE JAY LENO SHOW"

THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 17
8-8:30 pm - "Saturday Night Live Weekend Update Thursday"
8:30-9 pm - "Parks and Recreation"
9-9:30 pm – "The Office"
9:30-10 pm – "COMMUNITY" (series premiere – moves to Thursdays 8-8:30 pm on October 8; "30 Rock" returns October 15, 9:30-10 pm)
10-11 pm – "THE JAY LENO SHOW"

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 21
8-10 pm – "Heroes" (two hour premiere, then TRAUMA premieres 9-10 pm Monday, September 28)
10-11 pm – "THE JAY LENO SHOW"

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 23
8-9 pm – "PARENTHOOD" (Series Premiere)
9-10 pm – "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit"
10-11 pm – "THE JAY LENO SHOW"

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 25
8-9 pm – "Law & Order"
9-10 pm – "Southland"
10-11 pm – "THE JAY LENO SHOW"

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 26
8-9 pm – "Dateline NBC"
9-10 pm – "TRAUMA" (encore broadcast)
10-11 pm – "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" (encore broadcast)
11:30 pm - 1:00 a.m. - "Saturday Night Live"

via The Live Feed

VARIETY IS A REPUTABLE NEWS SOURCE

Yesterday, Variety ran a "news" item about My Name is Earl possibly getting picked up by TBS. Here's the headline they went with.

TBS may give new 'Earl' segs a whirl

Look at that for a second. I don't know what's more annoying- that they referred to episodes as "segs" or the incredibly half assed rhyme.

There may be life yet left in "My Name Is Earl."

Twentieth Century Fox TV is in talks with cabler TBS about a possible 13-episode pickup. TBS already carries "Earl" reruns.

The talks for new episodes are said to be in the very preliminary stages, and it's far from certain that a deal will be reached, insiders cautioned.

Nothing too offensive here. Sounding pretty vague though- "preliminary stages", "insiders". Let's read on.

The laffer starring Jason Lee as a reformed petty thief was axed by NBC in May after four seasons on the Peacock. There was some chatter that the Fox network might pick up the project from its sibling studio.

"Earl" could be a fit with TBS' broad slate of original laffers, including "The Bill Engvall Show," "My Boys," "Meet the Browns" and "10 Items or Less."

Okay. Laffer? That's what were calling comedies now? As if once wasn't bad enough, now it comes up again. TBS apparently has a "broad slate of original laffers". I guess TNT airs all the "cryers" and in the case of The Closer "gouge your eyeballs out with a rusty knife-ers". More vague language here too- "some chatter". Now the coup de grace.

Reps for 20th and TBS declined comment.

What's that? Where is this coming from, then? What is the story? There is no story. There's "insiders" there's "chatter", but there's no story here. Congratulations Cynthia Littleton, you're stealing money.

In a related bambat exclusive, insider chatter suggests FOX is developing a series about vampire pirates. Preliminary reports indicate it's a real laffer.

Source: Variety