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| Long Island Wants to Secede | ||||
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Sorry for the crappy official embed, I didn't see it anywhere else yet.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
I say they secede entirely
It's a lazy afternoon and I'm too busy to think of anything clever to write or to find your pictures of hot women (find your own). Instead, enjoy this brilliant piece from last night's Daily Show featuring the case for Long Island seceding from New York. Probably the best Daily Show segment since Jason Jones went to ASU.
Sorry for the crappy official embed, I didn't see it anywhere else yet.
Sorry for the crappy official embed, I didn't see it anywhere else yet.
Brett's Emmy Picks: Lead Actor - Drama
Clockwise from top left: Edward James Olmos, Hugh Laurie, Bryan Cranston,
Michael C. Hall, Kyle Chandler
Kyle Chandler as Eric Taylor in Friday Night Lights
Previous Nominations: 2006 (guest actor on Grey's Anatomy [ed: you're dead to us, Kyle])
Friend of the blog Kyle Chandler has been toiling unappreciated for three seasons now on NBC/DirecTV/whoever the hell is airing it now's Friday Night Lights. This show deserves special mention as one of the few shows on TV that both men and women can watch with equal measures of self-respect since it contains not only football but heart-wrenching teenage drama. There has never been any doubt through the shows run that its Chandler who holds the whole thing together. For that, he deserves the nom, but also for being criminally overlooked on Early Edition (you're welcome, Mike).
Hugh Laurie as Dr. Gregory House in House
Previous Nominations: 2005, 2007, 2008 (all for House)
Laurie beats out Kiefer Sutherland as the obligatory FOX headliner to get a nod (because you know one of them will), mostly because he can actually act. House may get a bit repetitive at times, but of the current crop of medical dramas on television, it is without a doubt the best (that's not the highest bar to clear, however). One might think that Laurie's edgy and cantankerous portrayal of Dr. House would have worn thin after so many seasons.. And well, it has a bit, but he's still great, and still a better choice than Kiefer.
Michael C. Hall as Dexter Morgan in Dexter
Previous Nominations: 2002 (Six Feet Under), 2008 (Dexter)
This nomination might be a bit unfair since I've currently been watching a ton of Dexter and Hall's performance is fresh in my mind. Then again, he was nominated last year, so it's not like it's unprecedented. Needless to say, it's a tall order for any actor to make the audience root for a cold, emotionless serial killer, but Hall pulls it off beautifully. When he's not murdering people in cold blood, he manages to be both endearing and likable, and that's a testament to Hall's acting chops. Definitely one of the best five actors on TV right now.
Edward James Olmos as Bill Adama in Battlestar Galactica
Previous Nominations: 1985, 1986 (supporting actor for Miami Vice, won 1985), 1995 (nominated best guest actor for The Burning Season)
The member of this group least likely to be nominated for the actual Emmys, simply because the voters seem to hate science fiction. It's their loss, since there is perhaps no actor working in TV today better than Olmos. Battlestar has now finished a four season run of what was some of the best television ever made, and Olmos was the central figure. Bill Adama was not only the heart of the series, but also its soul, and the fine ensemble cast probably couldn't have worked as well with any other actor at the helm. Needless to say, he deserves recognition.
Bryan Cranston as Walt White in Breaking Bad
Previous Nominations: 2002, 2003, 2006 (nominated best supporting actor, comedy for Malcolm in the Middle), 2008 (won for Breaking Bad)
Full disclosure: I don't actually watch this show. Never seen a single episode, although it is in the queue for the Summer of Couch. But I like Bryan Cranston, and he won last year, so that's good enough for me to nominate him. Read: Couldn't think of a fifth actor from a show I watch.
The Pick: This is probably not going to surprise anybody who knows me, but at the same time I don't think the pick is biased in the least. Battlestar Galactica was the best show on television during its run, and Edward James Olmos was the best actor on that show. Consequently, he is the logical pick. And I'm a huge nerd. So there.
Michael C. Hall, Kyle Chandler
Kyle Chandler as Eric Taylor in Friday Night Lights
Previous Nominations: 2006 (guest actor on Grey's Anatomy [ed: you're dead to us, Kyle])
Friend of the blog Kyle Chandler has been toiling unappreciated for three seasons now on NBC/DirecTV/whoever the hell is airing it now's Friday Night Lights. This show deserves special mention as one of the few shows on TV that both men and women can watch with equal measures of self-respect since it contains not only football but heart-wrenching teenage drama. There has never been any doubt through the shows run that its Chandler who holds the whole thing together. For that, he deserves the nom, but also for being criminally overlooked on Early Edition (you're welcome, Mike).
Hugh Laurie as Dr. Gregory House in House
Previous Nominations: 2005, 2007, 2008 (all for House)
Laurie beats out Kiefer Sutherland as the obligatory FOX headliner to get a nod (because you know one of them will), mostly because he can actually act. House may get a bit repetitive at times, but of the current crop of medical dramas on television, it is without a doubt the best (that's not the highest bar to clear, however). One might think that Laurie's edgy and cantankerous portrayal of Dr. House would have worn thin after so many seasons.. And well, it has a bit, but he's still great, and still a better choice than Kiefer.
Michael C. Hall as Dexter Morgan in Dexter
Previous Nominations: 2002 (Six Feet Under), 2008 (Dexter)
This nomination might be a bit unfair since I've currently been watching a ton of Dexter and Hall's performance is fresh in my mind. Then again, he was nominated last year, so it's not like it's unprecedented. Needless to say, it's a tall order for any actor to make the audience root for a cold, emotionless serial killer, but Hall pulls it off beautifully. When he's not murdering people in cold blood, he manages to be both endearing and likable, and that's a testament to Hall's acting chops. Definitely one of the best five actors on TV right now.
Edward James Olmos as Bill Adama in Battlestar Galactica
Previous Nominations: 1985, 1986 (supporting actor for Miami Vice, won 1985), 1995 (nominated best guest actor for The Burning Season)
The member of this group least likely to be nominated for the actual Emmys, simply because the voters seem to hate science fiction. It's their loss, since there is perhaps no actor working in TV today better than Olmos. Battlestar has now finished a four season run of what was some of the best television ever made, and Olmos was the central figure. Bill Adama was not only the heart of the series, but also its soul, and the fine ensemble cast probably couldn't have worked as well with any other actor at the helm. Needless to say, he deserves recognition.
Bryan Cranston as Walt White in Breaking Bad
Previous Nominations: 2002, 2003, 2006 (nominated best supporting actor, comedy for Malcolm in the Middle), 2008 (won for Breaking Bad)
Full disclosure: I don't actually watch this show. Never seen a single episode, although it is in the queue for the Summer of Couch. But I like Bryan Cranston, and he won last year, so that's good enough for me to nominate him. Read: Couldn't think of a fifth actor from a show I watch.
The Pick: This is probably not going to surprise anybody who knows me, but at the same time I don't think the pick is biased in the least. Battlestar Galactica was the best show on television during its run, and Edward James Olmos was the best actor on that show. Consequently, he is the logical pick. And I'm a huge nerd. So there.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Because two is better than one?
Okay, I haven't mentioned this one yet, but what the frak is with the sudden fascination with nurses? Don't get me wrong, I'm all for nurses, but do we really need both Nurse Jackie and Hawthorne? I mean, we already have plenty of medical shows. Those shows feature nurses. And yes, they also usually feature spunky and independent go-getter type women who won't suffer your malarkey with a smile, mister. Apparently TNT and Showtime felt this was a niche that needed to be filled. We get it, nurses are heroes.
As long as this is in vogue, I have an idea for a nurse show. It will air at 12:30 Friday nights on Cinemax, and well, you see where this is heading so let's cut to the chase...
The Summer of Couch Part I: True Blood
Note: This is part one in our ongoing series The Summer of Couch
Show: True Blood
Network: HBO
Still on Air: Yes
Seasons: Two (Second just premiered)
Episodes I got through: Three
Rating: 1/5
What I Loved: There are lots of naked ladies, some of them are attractive. A couple of the characters are mildly humorous, and occasionally say mildly humorous things. One of my favorite character actors, Chris Bauer (The Wire, The Lost Room) is in it, though from the episodes I watched he is sorely underutilized. No surprise there. I'm scraping the bottom of the barrel here.
What I Hated: Pretty much everything. Where to begin? First of all the premise ticks me off, but I've already covered my hatred for the chickification of vampires here and here. So going into it my expectations were rock bottom, so I figured: Hey, maybe I'll end up liking this despite myself. After all, I sort of liked Buffy, so it's not unprecedented for me to like vampires. Yeah, not so much. First of all, this show has possibly the worst writing I have ever witnessed. There are lines that are so cringe-inducing that I can't even describe them. I'm not convinced that the person who penned the shows dialogue has ever actually witnessed two human beings engaged in conversation. You'd think that such jilted and awkward writing would mesh well with a crew of such terrible actors (kind of like how Shia LeBeouf excels if all he has to say is "no, no, no, no"). But instead, the terrible acting compounds with the terrible writing to deliver one steaming pile of terrible. With a crap cherry on top. I kept waiting for the program to show me something, anything. After all, I'd heard so many "good" things about it I figured there had to be some redeeming parts somewhere. Nope.
The Verdict: I think my verdict is pretty clear by contrasting the lengths of the above paragraphs. I hate this show, I hope the creators die a horrible and painful death for even subjecting me to three episodes of it. Unfortunately, I'll probably be roped into watching more by my girlfriend. Damn you penis, I blame it on you.
Clip: Note: I couldn't find a scene that was remotely bearable and worthy of subjecting you to. The show has a pretty cool opening credits sequence I guess. Here's that:
Show: True Blood
Network: HBO
Still on Air: Yes
Seasons: Two (Second just premiered)
Episodes I got through: Three
Rating: 1/5
What I Loved: There are lots of naked ladies, some of them are attractive. A couple of the characters are mildly humorous, and occasionally say mildly humorous things. One of my favorite character actors, Chris Bauer (The Wire, The Lost Room) is in it, though from the episodes I watched he is sorely underutilized. No surprise there. I'm scraping the bottom of the barrel here.
What I Hated: Pretty much everything. Where to begin? First of all the premise ticks me off, but I've already covered my hatred for the chickification of vampires here and here. So going into it my expectations were rock bottom, so I figured: Hey, maybe I'll end up liking this despite myself. After all, I sort of liked Buffy, so it's not unprecedented for me to like vampires. Yeah, not so much. First of all, this show has possibly the worst writing I have ever witnessed. There are lines that are so cringe-inducing that I can't even describe them. I'm not convinced that the person who penned the shows dialogue has ever actually witnessed two human beings engaged in conversation. You'd think that such jilted and awkward writing would mesh well with a crew of such terrible actors (kind of like how Shia LeBeouf excels if all he has to say is "no, no, no, no"). But instead, the terrible acting compounds with the terrible writing to deliver one steaming pile of terrible. With a crap cherry on top. I kept waiting for the program to show me something, anything. After all, I'd heard so many "good" things about it I figured there had to be some redeeming parts somewhere. Nope.
The Verdict: I think my verdict is pretty clear by contrasting the lengths of the above paragraphs. I hate this show, I hope the creators die a horrible and painful death for even subjecting me to three episodes of it. Unfortunately, I'll probably be roped into watching more by my girlfriend. Damn you penis, I blame it on you.
Clip: Note: I couldn't find a scene that was remotely bearable and worthy of subjecting you to. The show has a pretty cool opening credits sequence I guess. Here's that:
SPIELBERG HAS ALIEN FETISH
It seems that even after Close Encounters, E.T., TV's Taken, War of the Worlds, and Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Mediocre Skull, Steven Spielberg still hasn't been able to satiate his alien fixation. Right now, the bearded wonder is looking at ER's Noah Wyle to headline his untitled alien invasion pilot for TNT. Here's a gay man with more:
The potential series -- which was announced last month at TNT's upfront presentation -- takes place six months after evil extra terrestrials decimate mankind. Wyle would play the leader of a ragtag group of citizens who try to bring down the aggressors.'Ragtag' is the only type of citizen group I can get behind anyway, but is the librarian really the one to lead them? This sounds like a one year wonder, but I'll give it a shot. But the question is, can a TNT original series survive without starring an actress "as you've never seen her before"?
Translation: It's Spielberg's take on V!
via Ausiello Files
FOX would like your attention, please
FOX has just rolled out their fall premiere schedule, and since this is ostensibly a blog about television, I figured I would pass it along. The full schedule is below. One thing you'll notice is the lack of new shows. Of the new offerings here, one is called Glee and the other involves Michael Strahan in a starring role. I know, I thought it was a joke too. Thank god for Fringe and Dollhouse, or this network might be truly unwatchable. Oh, don't worry bro, they didn't cancel your Jack Bauer. 24 returns in midseason alongside such luminaries as Human Target and some show about people singing to a British guy. I can't wait either.
Saturday, Sept. 12
8:00-8:30 PM ET/PT COPS (Season Premiere)
8:30-9:00 PM ET/PT COPS (All-New Episode)
9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT AMERICA’S MOST WANTED (Season Premiere)Wednesday, Sept. 16
8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE (Season Premiere)
9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT GLEE (Series Premiere)Thursday, Sept. 17
8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT BONES (Season Premiere)
9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT FRINGE (Season Premiere)Friday, Sept. 18
8:00-8:30 PM ET/PT BROTHERS (Series Premiere)
8:30-9:00 PM ET/PT ‘TIL DEATH (Season Premiere)
9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT DOLLHOUSE (Season Premiere)Monday, Sept. 21
8:00-10:00 PM ET/PT HOUSE (2-Hour Season Premiere)Sunday, Sept. 27
8:00-8:30 PM ET/PT THE SIMPSONS (Season Premiere)
8:30-9:00 PM ET/PT THE CLEVELAND SHOW (Series Premiere)
9:00-9:30 PM ET/PT FAMILY GUY (Season Premiere)
9:30-10:00 PM ET/PT AMERICAN DAD (Season Premiere)Monday, Sept. 28
8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT HOUSE (All-New Episode)
9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT LIE TO ME (Season Premiere)Tuesday, Sept. 29
8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT HELL’S KITCHEN (All-New Episode)
9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE (Time Period Premiere)Tuesday, Oct. 27
8:00-10:00 PM ET/PT SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE (Time Period Premiere)Saturday, Nov. 7
11:00 PM-Midnight ET/PT THE WANDA SYKES SHOW (wt) (Series Premiere)
via Hollywood Reporter
The most depressing thing you'll see today
Apparently even people who don't have HBO are eager to see female breasts and are willing to suffer through hours and hours of the world's most terrible acting to see them. You people have the internet, there is plenty of porn on here. I'd be happy to make some suggestions.
I read somewhere that one in six books purchased in the world last year was one of the Twilight books. I wish you were all dead (and no, not brought back as sexy vampires).
More of what you didn't care about
CBS has announced that they are ordering at least three more editions of a show so stupid it actually causes me physical pain. I never watched I Get That A Lot other than the 14 seconds I just spent grabbing a clip, but essentially the idea seems to be putting "celebrities" into everyday jobs to see if people will stroke their egos by noticing. Whoop-de-doo.
Apparently 10 millionidiots people watched this when it aired in April featuring Jessica Simpson, Heidi Klum, and Jeff Probst (I'm pretty sure he hosts one of those reality things). I hate it when celebrities think they're being clever, the only reason Punk'd was remotely tolerable is because at least they looked like idiots. Well, they do here too, though more ironically. Below is the clip of Jessica Simpson's "performance". Not only can she not stop smirking, but I'm pretty sure "hat and emo glasses" is the world's most lame disguise. What, they couldn't find a fake moustache in time?
Needless to say, I'll be passing on this one.
via Hollywood Reporter
Apparently 10 million
Needless to say, I'll be passing on this one.
via Hollywood Reporter
The Summer of Couch
This post contains no content. Its sole purpose is to announce a new bambat feature. While you are spending your summer on the beach or lounging by the pool, I will be busting my ass ON my ass to bring you more content than you can shake a stick at. I've often mused that I don't watch every show on television, and I will now attempt to correct that oversight. With the help of On Demand, Netflix, and
Without further ado, I declare this... The Summer of Couch! (and paleness)
Sunday, June 14, 2009
What you are buying me for my birthday
Sorry for the picture post. Below is the complete Blu Ray collection for Battlestar Galactica, which will be released July 28th. That's a week before my birthday. Just saying.
This would be the perfect time for you to pull your head out of your ass and watch the best showon off television. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to change pants.
This would be the perfect time for you to pull your head out of your ass and watch the best show
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