The most depressing thing you'll see today

Apparently even people who don't have HBO are eager to see female breasts and are willing to suffer through hours and hours of the world's most terrible acting to see them. You people have the internet, there is plenty of porn on here. I'd be happy to make some suggestions.

I read somewhere that one in six books purchased in the world last year was one of the Twilight books. I wish you were all dead (and no, not brought back as sexy vampires).

There Will Be Blood Boobs

So apparently True Blood comes back on the air tonight. I know this because of the shrill screams of excitement emanating from my roommates (they read this, so I'll point out that may be a bit of an exaggeration). If you're unfamiliar with True Blood, take a look up at the picture. There, you just watched True Blood. I've already made my feelings on vampire shows quite clear. I've only seen the first three episodes of True Blood, but needless to say it features some of the worst acting I've ever seen. The only silver lining is that there are boobs. Ooodles of boobs. And yet somehow, the only people I know who actually enjoy the show are gay men and women. It's a puzzle wrapped in an enigma.

Anyway, if you actually like the show and are still reading, True Blood returns tonight on HBO. I'm too lazy to look up what time, but I think you can figure it out. After all, you obviously have internet access.

Update: It's 9:42PM, I can hear my girlfriend shrieking downstairs as she watches this. I've never been more in love.. Now where's that noose...

Oh, here's Anna Paquin: