2009 Emmy Nod Impressions: Comedy

We're going to try to group these together as logically as possible as we provide our take on the announcements. First up is comedy. If these lists look longer than in years past, they are, since nearly every category has an expanded nominee list.

BEST COMEDY SERIES
Entourage
Family Guy
Flight of the Conchords
How I Met Your Mother
The Office
30 Rock
Weeds

Deserving:
HIMYM - This is long overdue, and well deserved. It's no secret that it is the official show of bambat, it's refreshing to finally see such a fantastic show get its due.

30 Rock - Continues to be one of the funniest shows on television. That's what this category is about.

Undeserving:
Entourage - My feelings on this show have been made clear several times. Even if you are going to nominate it, according to everyone who watches it this was its worst year. Makes no sense.

The Office - I'm a fan of this show, and will be until the end, but this season was mediocre at best. Not that I'm surprised it was nominated.

Family Guy - This puzzles me. Everyone thinks FG has gone downhill, and while I don't necessarily agree I'm shocked that it was nominated here.

Snubs:
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia - No surprise, since its far too crass for Emmy voters to give it any credit, but it's probably the most laugh-inducing show on television.

Chuck - I was a little shocked to see so little love for this show, I guess I'll just have to be content with the fact that it was renewed.

Pick: HIMYM in a walk, though 30 Rock will probably take it again.

BEST ACTOR IN A COMEDY SERIES
Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock
Steve Carell, The Office
Jemaine Clement, Flight of the Conchords
Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory
Tony Shalhoub, Monk
Charlie Sheen, Two and a Half Men

Deserving:
Alec Baldwin - Check out this clip if you don't believe me.
Jim Parsons - Diamond in the rough. Hilarious character on an otherwise mediocre show. He's the real deal.

Undeserving:
Charlie Sheen - This show sucks.

Snubs:
Zachary Levi - I can't believe Chuck wasn't shown more love, but I'm not really surprised.
David Duchovony - Was it the sex addiction?

Pick: Jim Parsons - When I made my picks I had him in the far more stacked supporting category. He's an easy pick for me here.

BEST ACTRESS IN A COMEDY SERIES
Christina Applegate, Samantha Who?
Toni Collette, United States of Tara
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, The New Adventures of Old Christine
Tina Fey, 30 Rock
Mary-Louise Parker, Weeds
Sarah Silverman, The Sarah Silverman Program

Deserving:
Tina Fey - Show's great, she's hilarious. It's Tina Fey, come on.
Mary-Louise Parker - I mostly appreciate her for her dramatic work. She's also hot.

Undeserving:
Sarah Silverman - Not funny and this show was stupid.

Snubs:
Honestly can't think of another actress I would even nominate

Pick: Tina Fey - She'll win easily, 30 Rock is an Emmy machine.

SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A COMEDY SERIES
Jon Cryer, Two and a Half Men
Kevin Dillon, Entourage
Neil Patrick Harris, How I Met Your Mother
Jack McBrayer, 30 Rock
Tracy Morgan, 30 Rock
Rainn Wilson, The Office

Deserving:
NPH - The clear favorite, and not just because he's hosting. Friend of the blog NPH should have won this already, but he will this year.
Tracy Morgan - Consistently outrageous and hilarious, can't really quibble with any of the 30 Rock nominations.

Undeserving:
Kevin Dillon - This show sucks. He sucks.
Jon Cryer - This show also sucks.

Snubs:
Jason Segal - I might have picked him over most of these guys, but if HIMYM was only getting one nod, than NPH is the choice.
Anyone from Scrubs - You suck, Emmys.

Pick: NPH - For reasons too obvious to even state.

SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A COMEDY SERIES
Kristin Chenoweth, Pushing Daisies
Jane Krakowski, 30 Rock
Elizabeth Perkins, Weeds
Amy Poehler, Saturday Night Live
Kristin Wiig, Saturday Night Live
Vanessa Williams, Ugly Betty

Deserving:
Kristin Chenoweth - Mike loves Pushing Daisies. Even I acknowledge Chenoweth is a great talent.
Jane Krakowski - I've been over this.

Undeserving: Can't really knock anyone, this is a weak category

Snubs:
Caitlin Olsen - SOMEONE from this show should be nominated for something
Cobie Smulders - She's severely underrated, more than just a pretty face.

Pick: Kristin Chenoweth

Emmy nominations announced

Sorry for the giant list, but here are you nominees for the 61st Annual Primetime Emmys. We'll be bringing you impressions and analysis throughout the day.

COMEDY

BEST COMEDY SERIES
Entourage
Family Guy
Flight of the Conchords
How I Met Your Mother
The Office
30 Rock
Weeds

BEST ACTOR IN A COMEDY SERIES
Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock
Steve Carell, The Office
Jemaine Clement, Flight of th Conchords
Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory
Tony Shalhoub, Monk
Charlie Sheen, Two and a Half Men

BEST ACTRESS IN A COMEDY SERIES
Christina Applegate, Samantha Who?
Toni Collette, United States of Tara
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, The New Adventures of Old Christine
Tina Fey, 30 Rock
Mary-Louise Parker, Weeds
Sarah Silverman, The Sarah Silverman Program

SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A COMEDY SERIES
Jon Cryer, Two and a Half Men
Kevin Dillon, Entourage
Neil Patrick Harris, How I Met Your Mother
Jack McBrayer, 30 Rock
Tracy Morgan, 30 Rock
Rainn Wilson, The Office

SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A COMEDY SERIES
Kristin Chenoweth, Pushing Daisies
Jane Krakowski, 30 Rock
Elizabeth Perkins, Weeds
Amy Poehler, Saturday Night Live
Kristin Wiig, Saturday Night Live
Vanessa Williams, Ugly Betty

GUEST ACTOR IN A COMEDY SERIES
Alan Alda, 30 Rock
Beau Bridges, Desperate Housewives
Jon Hamm, 30 Rock
Steve Martin, 30 Rock
Justin Timberlake, Saturday Night Live

GUEST ACTRESS IN A COMEDY SERIES
Jennifer Aniston, 30 Rock
Christine Baranski, The Big Bang Theory
Tina Fey, Saturday Night Live
Gena Rowlands, Monk
Elaine Stritch, 30 Rock
Betty White, My Name Is Earl

DRAMA

BEST DRAMA SERIES
Big Love
Breaking Bad
Damages
Dexter
House
Lost
Mad Men

BEST ACTOR IN A DRAMA SERIES
Simon Baker, The Mentalist
Gabriel Byrne, In Treatment
Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad
Michael C. Hall, Dexter
Jon Hamm, Mad Men
Hugh Laurie, House

BEST ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES
Glenn Close, Damages
Sally Field, Brothers & Sisters
Mariska Hargitay, Law & Order: SVU
Holly Hunter, Saving Grace
Elisabeth Moss, Mad Men
Kyra Sedgwick, The Closer

SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A DRAMA SERIES
Christian Clemenson, Boston Legal
Michael Emerson, Lost
William Hurt, Damages
Aaron Paul, Breaking Bad
William Shatner, Boston Legal
John Slattery, Mad Men

SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES
Rose Byrne, Damages
Hope Davis, In Treatment
Cherry Jones, In Treatment
Sandra Oh, Grey's Anatomy
Dianne Wiest, In Treatment
Chandra Wilson, Grey's Anatomy

GUEST ACTOR IN A DRAMA SERIES
Edward Asner, CSI: NY
Ted Danson, Damages
Ernest Borgnine, ER
Michael J. Fox, Rescue Me
Jimmy Smits, Dexter

GUEST ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES
Brenda Blethyn, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit
Carol Burnett, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit
Ellen Burstyn, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit
Sharon Lawrence, Grey's Anatomy
CCH Pounder, The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency

REALITY

REALITY COMPETITION PROGRAM
The Amazing Race
American Idol
Dancing With The Stars
Project Runway
Top Chef

HOST FOR A REALITY OR REALITY-COMPETITION PROGRAM
Tom Bergeron, Dancing With the Stars
Phil Keoghan, The Amazing Race
Heidi Klum, Project Runway
Padma Lakshmi (Host) and Tom Colicchio (Co-Host), Top Chef
Jeff Probst, Survivor
Ryan Seacrest, American Idol

REALITY SERIES
Antiques Roadshow
Dirty Jobs
Dog Whisperer
Intervention
Kathy Griffin: My Life On The D-List
MythBusters

VARIETY, MUSIC, OR COMEDY

VARIETY, MUSIC, OR COMEDY SERIES
The Colbert Report
The Daily Show With Jon Stewart
Late Show With David Letterman
Real Time With Bill Maher
Saturday Night Live

VARIETY, MUSIC, OR COMEDY SPECIAL
Will Ferrell: You're Welcome America. A Final Night With George W. Bush
Ricky Gervais: Out of England
Kathy Griffin: She'll Cut a Bitch
The Kennedy Center Honors
Chris Rock: Kill the Messenger

MINISERIES OR MOVIE

MINISERIES
Generation Kill
Little Dorrit

MADE-FOR-TV MOVIE
Coco Chane
Grey Gardens
Into The Storm
Prayers For Bobby
Taking Chance

ACTOR IN A MINISERIES OR A MOVIE
Kevin Bacon, Taking Chance
Kenneth Branagh, Wallander: One Step Behind
Kevin Kline, Cyrano de Bergerac (Great Performances)
Brendan Gleeson, Into the Storm
Sir Ian McKellen, King Lear (Great Performances)
Kiefer Sutherland, 24: Redemption

ACTRESS IN A MINISERIES OR A MOVIE
Drew Barrymore, Grey Gardens
Jessica Lange, Grey Gardens
Shirley MacLaine, Coco Chanel
Sigourney Weaver, Prayers For Bobby
Chandra Wilson, Accidental Friendship

SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A MINISERIES OR MOVIE
Len Cariou, Into the Storm
Tom Courtenay, Little Dorrit
Ken Howard, Grey Gardens
Bob Newhart, The Librarian: Curse of the Judas Chalice
Andy Serkis, Little Dorrit

SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A MINISERIES OR MOVIE
Shohreh Aghdashloo, House Of Saddam
Marcia Gay Harden, The Courageous Heart Of Irena Sendler (Hallmark Hall Of Fame Presentation)
Janet McTeer, Into The Storm
Jeanne Tripplehorn, Grey Gardens
Cicely Tyson, Relative Stranger

List via EW

Funny + Hot = Series Regular. Makes sense.

For those following the continued reworking of Scrubs into a medical school drama, there is good news today in that one of last year's interns Denise (played by the lovely Eliza Coupe) has been cast as a series regular. While this isn't surprising news, it is certainly welcome:

Coupe joins a refreshed ensemble that will include three or four new regulars in addition to returning vets Donald Faison and John C. McGinley. Zach Braff, Sarah Chalke, Judy Reyes and Ken Jenkins are expected to make guest appearances.

Given that Coupe was one of the few interns in the past few years who was actually likable and funny (also Aziz Ansari's far-too-short turn as Ed the Intern) I think its a good direction for the show to take. She's also not bad too look at, which will in some small way make up for the trauma of the departure of Sarah Chalke. No word yet on who the "big name" they're getting is, although we not it will NOT be Lauren Graham, despite earlier speculation. Also no word on whether next season will be better or worse than the Scrubs porno. At the very least, they did just take one small step towards approaching that level of sexy. Good job, Scrubs.

via Ausiello Files

Fighter of the Nightman

I'm a big fan of shows deciding to pursue unique and creative marketing avenues, so in that spirit I give you the latest promo for the new season of FX's It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. This show has always been big on the viral marketing, even going so far as to work their youtube videos into the show itself. bambat is a big supporter of It's Always Sunny, as you can read in our recent Summer of Couch piece. Getting fans to sing Dayman, probably the unofficial theme song of the show at this point, is a neat gesture and shows that these guys know what they're on about. Season 5 premieres September 17th on FX.

YOU HAVE MY ATTENTION

A couple days ago, the first trailer for NBC's Day One was "leaked". And by leaked, I mean was released by someone with access to a decent quality version. Here's the show in a nutshell, from NBC.com:

In the aftermath of a global event that devastates the world's infrastructures, a small band of [sexy] survivors strives to rebuild society and unravel the mysteries of why the event took place and what the future has in store.

Told from the point of view of an eclectic [read: there's an Asian guy and a black chick] group of neighbors in a Van Nuys, California apartment building, this journey of survival will show us that hope is found in the smallest of victories and heroes are born every day.

As the headline suggests, I was impressed by this trailer. The special effects especially. I would like to direct your attention to a few key moments.

1:01- Hilarious pratfall.
1:06- Riling up the 9/11 survivors.
1:34- The great Xander Berkley.
2:10-14- The gag-worthy tagline.
2:23- Horrible fake CPR.

Keep an eye on this one. Unfortunately it doesn't premiere until March of 2010, so you'll have to think of something else to do in the mean time. I suggest finding a hobby. Do people still collect things? Stamps? Post cards? Lady's fingers? Up to you.

PUT ON SOME UNDERWEAR, I CAN SEE YOUR CLIPS

Clip of the week comes early this week, because this was just too good not to share immediately. Maybe you remember stories like Little Red Riding Hood, Jack and the Beanstalk, Cinderella, Snow White, and other Mother Goose yarns. Wouldn't it be great to see them in cartoon form? Been there done that, you say? Seen it? Well not like this you haven't. It's called Once Upon a Girl and I would buy it, but I'd rather wait for the Blu Ray. I like my antiquated porn to have as much resolution as possible.

Not funny actor gets not funny sitcom

Jon Heder, who has done basically nothing since criminally overrated "Napoleon Dynamite" has apparently landed a deal to star in a ten-episode series on Comedy Central about a nerd. What range. The details:

"Napoleon Dynamite" star Jon Heder has landed a sitcom deal at Comedy Central.

The network has ordered 10 episodes of a new scripted comedy starring Heder as an out of work computer IT specialist who returns to his small home town and moves back in with his parents and younger brother.

The project is from Gary Sanchez Productions and Debmar-Mercury.

My how the not mighty have remained completely stationary in... not mighty-tude... Don't ask me what the title of this show is, since apparently it doesn't have one. Since there is nothing funny about Jon Heder, and there is nothing inherently funny about an out of work nerd living with his parents, I can probably safely take a pass on this show. If I want to experience the magic of a loser who hangs out in a basement and plays video games, I have my own life.

[Ed.- He failed to mention the show is being produced and written by Chris Henchy (HBO's Eastbound and Down), Adam McKay (Anchorman, Stepbrothers), and Will Ferrell (Saturday Night Live and I think that's it). Heder doesn't exactly light my fire either, but those other guys are like Zippos. -Mike]

via The Live Feed

Yeah I watched ABC Family, wanna fight about it?

I hope everyone had a good long weekend, I know I did. Contrary to internet rumor, bambat still exists, and is back from our brief vacation from our unpaid non-job. We're kicking off a new segment today: Pilot Impressions. This seems pretty self-explanatory, but for you morons: We watch pilots of new shows. We write about them. The end. Since this is the Summer, most of these shows are going to be terrible. That's just how it goes.

First up is a little show we previewed a while back, ABC Family's re-boot of 10 Things I Hate About You. So you can get your giggles out of the way upfront: Yes, I programmed my DVR to record this program. Yes, I then watched this program. And yes, I am now going to spend my time writing about it. Whoever told you I had a life was obviously misinformed.

Anyway, if you've seen the movie from back when Heath Ledger and Julia Stiles' career were both still alive, then you've basically seen the pilot. And by that I mean that they essentially took the exact same plot and re-filmed it with less talented actors. They also made sure to modernize it with topical contemporary references to texting and Facebook. No mention of the big gossip that someone tweeted yet, but it's only a matter of time.

Keep in mind that this is an adaptation of a movie which was a loose adaptation of a Shakespeare play in the first place. In other words, we've reached the maximum saturation point of being derivative. If this show gets a spin-off, God will kill an autustic kitten. It goes without saying that each iteration was worst than the last, and yes, this was pretty bad.

The cast is full of people I don't recognize, which is just as well considering a quick glance at their imdb entries revealed a litany of prior ABC Family appearances. I think it should be a law that if you have two or more Hannah Montana alums in one place at any time, you have to pay a fine to the FCC. The only one I knew was Dana Davis, who was in Heroes briefly. She wasn't any good here either. That said, there was definitely some jailbait talent here, which those who know me are aware is a key factor.

Anyway, I can't waste another minute writing about this. In summation:

Rating: 3 out of 10

Wasn't funny or clever. Some of the chicks were alright looking. Didn't throw my remote.

Odds I'll watch another episode: 0

Odds I'll watch another episode and not tell anyone: 50/50

After all, let's face it, I have no life.

CLIP IT IN THE BUD

Slow day today. It's a holiday after all. This is your weekly clip post.

One of Alec Baldwin's funniest scenes on 30 Rock:

The Summer of Couch Part IV: It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia

Note: This is part four in our ongoing series The Summer of Couch


Show: It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia
Network: FX
Still on Air: Yes
Seasons: Four (Fifth premiers in the fall)
Episodes I got through: All of them
Rating: 5/5

What I Loved: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia is one of those shows that people have been telling me for years that I have to see. I've caught episodes here or there, but it never really got me hooked. The Summer of Couch provided me with an excellent opportunity to prove myself wrong, and did I ever. I've gone through the entire four seasons over the last week or so, only stopping to tend to the basic necessities of life. To call the comedy brilliant wouldn't be doing it justice, the show my be a bit slapstick and over the top at times, but its one of the funniest shows I've ever seen. And that's really all a comedy should be. There's no real progression in the story, no real character development, and yet somehow it doesn't matter: Because you can't stop laughing the entire time. It might not be the best comedy on TV, but it is without a doubt the most outrageously funny. The episodes are also so self-contained with the outrageous schemes of the gang that they're basically endlessly re-watchable. And I plan to re-watch them. Endlessly.

What I Hated: Really, nothing. The characters of Dee and Mac aren't quite as funny as the other three, but it really only seems that way because the others are so unbelievably brilliant. The show can be a bit too low-brow at times, but at this point we're really just splitting hairs.

The Verdict: Plainly, I loved it. It seems so far in the Summer of Couch that I'm either loving these shows or hating them. Hopefully soon I will have a completely ambivalent reaction to one, but its not today. It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia is unbelievably fantastic. Its recently been renewed for several more seasons at 13 episodes each (really the perfect number, since it never feels like they're reaching to come up with a plot) so the show will be around to enjoy for a while longer. Thanks to all those who recommended this show, it was well worth it.

Clip:

The Emmys gets one right

Usually when I think about the Emmys, the first words that pop into my head are "poor decisions". After all, these are the awards which have given three consecutive wins to Jeremy Piven and also once nominated Evangeline Lilly. So its refreshing to hear that CBS is currently in talks with friend of the blog Neil Patrick Harris to host the awards show. Variety has the details:

Thesp [ed: Thespian] Neil Patrick Harris is in the midst of cutting a deal with CBS and the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences to host the 61st annual kudos [ed: awards ceremony] on Sept. 20. Insiders cautioned that the deal is not yet completed, but all sides are working toward setting Harris as this year's Emmycast frontman as soon as possible.

---

Having Harris front and center on the kudocast [ed: awards ceremony] will amount to a promo boost for "Mother," which is set to move into the 8 p.m. anchor slot of the Eye's Monday comedy block the night after the Emmys.

The pressure is on this year's Emmycast exec producer, Don Mischer, to improve the ratings and the critical reception to this year's show. Last year's Primetime Emmy Awards were widely panned for the decision to use five reality show personalities [ed: vapid morons] as co-hosts.

You'll notice I had to clean it up a little, since Variety still hasn't figured out they're supposed to be an actual entertainment news source, not my 12 year old cousin's myspace. Following Harris' successful stint as the host of the Tonys (that's the one about plays), this seems like a no-brainer decision. What would make this all the sweeter is if Harris pairs the hosting gig with a win as best supporting actor, as bambat predicted. That would be legen... wait for it...

...
dary! Legendary.

UPDATE: It's a done deal.

via Variety

HEADLINES: IS IT LAST WEEK ALREADY? EDITION

Can you spot an old friend in this picture? The hint is tattoo.

Meloni, Hargitay seal deal with 'SVU'- Do we really have to go through this every year? It's like when Vin Diesel teased us by stepping away from the Fast and Furious franchise. We know you've got nothing else. (Variety)

Final 'Lost' season gains an hour- But the clock on the microwave is still wrong. (Live Feed)

Joanna 'Idol' Regrets- #1: Doing it in the first place. #2: Under-the-table handjobs for Simon Cowell. #3: Herpes.(NY Post)

Meet the `Big Brother 11' cast- You know, before they get really famous. (Philly.com)

30 Rock Keeps the Awkward Laughs Coming- This season they'll be reading excerpts from Brett's diary before commercials. Sample: Today on the metro I saw this chick who totally looked just like Number Six. I'd totally give her my 5" if you know what I'm sayin'. (TV.com)


Here's a little treat if you spotted our old friend keyboard cat.

Not Interested to join the cast of Don't Care

From the further annals of "Good God Nothing Is Going On This Week" comes a thoroughly underwhelming bit of casting news. Hilary Duff, who you might remember as the 11th most famous late-teen/early-twenty-something actress/singer/annoying attention whore to come out during the late 1990s/early 2000s when those sorts of people were all the rage is joining the cast of Gossip Girl, which you might remember as that show which sucks. From Ausiello:

The actress-designer-pop chanteuse will play Olivia Burke, a movie star who enrolls at NYU in search of a traditional college experience. She ends up rooming with Vanessa (Jessica Szohr) so it's safe to say she'll be majoring in Drama!

Duff will debut in this season's fourth episode, slated to air Oct. 5.

Gossip producers spotted an opening in Duff's schedule after NBC passed on her comedy pilot Barely Legal.

Really? Olivia Burke? If you were to ask me, a heterosexual male who has never seen a single minute of Gossip Girl, to guess what the creators of this show would name a character, my first guess would be Olivia Burke. That's possibly the most generic "bitch" name of all time, I'm amazed they didn't already have a character named that. Apparently they were saving it for a "big get" like Hilary Duff. Smooth operating, creators of this terrible CW show, smooth operating. Now back to your regularly scheduled boredom.

[Ed note: Here's Hilary Duff wet. Why not? - mike]




via Ausiello

Not even outer space is safe from angsty melodrama

In the wake of the tease that was Virtuality airing on FOX comes news that ABC will pick up another high-concept Summer sci-fi show which may sate the nerd appetite (but probably not). Defying Gravity had me all excited until I read that the producer is one of the people behind Grey's Anatomy and Ugly Betty. In his own words:

"Since we originally pitched "Gravity" to the international marketplace as 'Gray's Anatomy' in space, getting the series on the network that has 'Grey's' and makes the most successful sci-fi show on TV in 'Lost' is a good fit," FtvS executive vp David Madden said. He describes the show as "having a sci-fi premise but being told in a female-friendly way."

Yeah, so fuck that. It may have Ron Livingston, who is awesome, but "Grey's Anatomy in Space"? Pass. Thanks a lot ABC for getting me unreasonably excited by a headline and lead actor only to take the wind out of my sails entirely. I looked around for a trailer though there doesn't seem to be one. Not that I'd want to see it now anyway. One day, someone will find a successful vehicle for Ron Livingston, but it is not this day. Now if they come up with a show that involves sending the cast of Grey's Anatomy IN TO space, then I'll clear some room on my DVR.


via The Live Feed

Stop shooting your TVs, Mormons

Following the digital transition, officials in Utah are apparently worried that people might use their old, useless tvs for shootin' practice. So worried in fact, that they've issued a directive that people, you know, NOT do that:

With the recent switch to all digital television, there are plenty of TVs collecting dust. The BLM warns that electronic devices like TVs, computer monitors and even cell phones potentially toxic elements. If they're not disposed of properly, the devices pose a threat to the environment. Officials say it can cost up to seven-grand to clean-up a shot-up TV set.

Seriously? Seven grand to clean up a TV? I'm clearly in the wrong industry. In lieu of this, I'm officially announcing the closing of bambat so that I can head West and earn my fortune as a TV cleaner-upper. Wish me luck, loyal readers, I leave this land a mere boy but when I return.. I shall be a man.

Alternatively, just stop shooting your TVs, Cleetus.

via digtriad

10 Things I Hate About A Slow News Day

You know its a slow boring Monday when bambat covers something related to ABC Family, but here we are. I'm sure I wouldn't be the only heterosexual male to admit that "10 Things I Hate About You" was a pretty decent movie, as far as rom-com Shakespeare adaptations starring Julia Stiles go. But at no point during the watching of that movie did I ever think "gee, this would be even better if you stretched it out over 20ish episodes and put it on ABC Family." Apparently I should have been more forceful, since they've gone ahead and done just that, remaking 10 Things I Hate About You as a TV series (for tweens). The trailer:



Wow, so its the exact same plot as the movie only with less attractive women. Isn't the token black chick the same token black chick who tried to ruin the Season Two of Heroes? My favorite part is that its the same dad from the movie, as if he had nothing better to do ten years later. And the artsy kid in the hat is back. That's nice...

The trailer I posted also featured some dialogue between the older sister and her lone boyfriend. This is what they had:

Artsy misunderstood girl: Why are people scared of you?
Artsy misunderstood guy: Why are people scared of you?

The end of this exchange is actually:

Artsy misunderstood girl: People are not scared of me.
Artsy misunderstood guy: That's why I find you interesting.

No joke. It's in this trailer (if you can stomach another). If you're still at all interested after reading all that, it premieres July 7th. Heaven help you.

Oops, you forgot to watch Virtuality

Considering that it aired in the Summer.. On a Friday night.. And that it was a sci-fi show.. And that it had already been canceled prior to airing.. I don't know whether anyone should be surprised that essentially no one tuned in to FOX on Friday to watch the "pilot" of Virtuality. The latest opus from Ronald D. Moore, genius behind Battlestar Galactica, was a ratings dud. The grim stats:

The two-hour premiere of Ron Moore's sci-fi pilot drew only 1.8 million viewers and received a 0.5 adult demo rating -- tying ABC's "The Goode Family" as the lowest-rated program on a major broadcast network Friday night and putting Fox into fourth place for the evening.

It's a shame you had better things to do America, because I watched it and it was fantastic. No surprise there. Of course, the bittersweet thing is that it left me wanting so much more. More than I will never receive because you, America, would rather watch terrible television or go out and have lives on a Friday night. If you'd like to watch the pilot anyway, it's on Hulu. Maybe if enough people watch it there, it'll get picked up somewhere. I'm not holding my breath. I'll never understand why they didn't just air this on Sci-Fi. Screw you, America.

via The Live Feed

HI, BILLY MAYS HERE TO TELL YOU ABOUT DEATH*

...four to go...

Picking up where Ed McMahon and Farrah Fawcett left off in the trend of "People whose deaths you care less about than Michael Jackson", TV pitch man Billy Mays was found dead in his home this morning. According to FOX News:

Mays was found unresponsive by his wife inside his Tampa, Fla., home at 7:45 a.m. on Sunday, according to the Tampa Police Department.

Police said there were no signs of forced entry to Mays' residence and foul play is not suspected. Authorities said an autopsy should be complete by Monday afternoon.

In a disturbing twist, he'd left the TV on the night before and ended up (not) waking up to his own infomercial. I hate when that happens. I never liked when news sites report dead people as being "found". That doesn't sound like it takes any effort at all. And who's really looking for dead people? I prefer when corpses are discovered. That makes it more exciting, like there's a bit of adventure involved, possibly a rag tag group of kids or minorities.

Oh and RIP.

Source: FOX News


*I stole that headline from a friend of mine who doesn't want to be named. So many people read bambat, he'd be afraid of the publicity.

The Summer of Couch Part III: Dexter

Note: This is part three in our ongoing series The Summer of Couch


Show: Dexter
Network: Showtime
Still on Air: Yes
Seasons: Three (Fourth premiers in September)
Episodes I got through: All of them
Rating: 5/5

What I Loved: It would seem incredibly lazy to just put "everything", but that would accurately sum it up. I've already made my feelings for this show pretty clear on this blog since my Emmy picks nominated not only the show but Michael C. Hall as well. I don't know how I missed it for its first three seasons. Oh wait, no Showtime On Demand. Well, I've corrected that mistake now and I suggest you do the same. This show is delightfully humorous, witty, creepy, and most importantly downright entertaining. Rooting for a serial killer is oddly cathartic in a way which makes me kind of worried for my friends and family. But just like Dexter, if I ever snap and go on a killing spree, it will only be for great justice. Probably. Oh, and if you spotted the nerdy reference in the last sentence, you are officially invited to my next Lord of the Rings marathon. BYOL (longbottom leaf).

What I Hated: Not much. Well, I guess I have to find something, so I'll say that some of the other cast beyond Hall are kind of weak. I'm not especially fond of the actress who plays his sister (otherwise known as his wife in real life). Although I may be alone in that since she just won a Saturn Award. For what that's worth. Really, there's not much to complain about here, the show is awesome. I gave it five out of five, see. Watch it.

The Verdict: It's nice to finally do a Summer of Couch write-up on a show I was actually able to stomach. A welcome relief after sitting through the last two. Dexter has been officially added to my regular docket of shows for the Fall (and consequently will receive preferential coverage here, of course). Look forward to my next review, which will probably be back to me hating things. Because that's what I do.

Clip:

STIFF UPPER CLIP

This is your weekly clip post. Don't you love Fridays?




No, but seriously, here is your clip. Mike really likes this show:

Lisa it's your birthday! Happy birthday Lisa!

RIP Leon Kompowsky. Gone but not forgotten.

Networks Wanna Be Startin' Somethin' (making money)

As you might have predicted, every single channel on television is planning to air a tribute tonight to Michael Jackson, who died yesterday (you might have heard):

ABC, CBS and NBC are reworking their primetime lineups tonight to make room for coverage of the singer and the passing of actress Farrah Fawcett.

ABC News plans two hours devoted to Jackson and Fawcett. The network has announced a special "20/20" called "The Life and Death of Michael Jackson" at 9 p.m. with Barbara Walters and Martin Bashir anchoring. Bashir came to the network after his 2003 documentary "Living With Michael Jackson" scored a large audience for the network. At 10 p.m., ABC's previously planned special "Farrah Fawcett: Her Life, Her Loves, Her Legacy" will air. Additional reporting will continue on “Nightline,” at 11:35 p.m., ET.

NBC News plans a two-hour episode of "Dateline" starting at 9 p.m. devoted to Jackson and Fawcett. NBC News' Ann Curry and Meredith Vieira will anchor the tribute. On Friday, NBC plans to rebroadcast "Farrah's Story," a two-hour documentary about Farrah Fawcett's battle with cancer.

CBS News currently plans a one-hour news special at 10 p.m., also titled "The Life and Death of Michael Jackson."

First of all, we can drop the pretense that anyone cares about Farrah Fawcett at this point. She didn't even get her own death post. Second, I can't believe that ABC missed the opportunity to title their special "Easy as 123". These sorts of oversights wouldn't happen if I was in charge of television. In addition to the above, FOX will be re-airing the episode of American Idol where people sang Michael Jackson songs. You can decide for yourself whether to enjoy the irony of the death of the King of Pop being honored by the vehicle thats making pop irrelevant one screaming tween at a time.

I'm glad the networks have given this a tv angle so we can cover it here (not that we wouldn't have anyway), but let's not dilude ourselves into thinking this is about anything other than cashing in for them. If you don't believe me, stay tuned for my post about which special got the best ratings.

via The Live Feed

THIS LOOKS PROMISING

There are a lot of reasons to get excited for HBO's new original series Bored to Death. The biggest is the cast. Jason Schwartzman plays an alcoholic writer who moonlights as a private detective. Zach Galifianakis, coming off the red hot (and highly recommended by me) film The Hangover plays his comic book writer friend. Kristen Wiig and the adorable Parker Posey represent the womenfolk. And Ted Danson rounds out the ensemble. The trailer looks a little quirky, too. But who am I kidding, I'd watch these guys in anything. Look out for it this fall. And look out in general so you don't fall. That's just good advice.

JACKSON GETS ENOUGH, STOPS

Today, as you may have read everywhere, or, if you're like me, heard shouted around the office, Michael Jackson died. No word on whether this post by Brett had anything to do with it. Now obviously, this isn't really a time for jokes, so instead I have a poem I'd like to share.

God told him "Don't you ever come around here.
Don't wanna see your face. You better disappear."
The fire left Jackson's eyes.
God's words were really clear.
Now, don't be a macho man.
Be tough. Do what you can.
I mean, no one wants to be defeated,
but sometimes your fight just isn't
funky strong enough.

Phew. That was emotional. Thanks for indulging me, guys. RIP Wacko Jacko.

SUPER SUAVE, VANILLA CAKES

I don't know who came up with the brilliant idea to make porno versions of TV sitcoms, but my hat's off. You really have to respect what they've done with Scrubs: A XXX Parody. The names are brilliant, D.J. (instead of J.D.), the Tedd (the Todd), and my favorite Dr. Cocks (obviously). The Tedd wears a bandana and even has the same tattoo as Todd. There's some voiceover from D.J. and I assume people even have sex at some point (not confirmed by the SFW promo). The faithfulness to the source material really surprised me.

If Scrubs isn't your cup of tea, what the fuck is wrong with you then maybe you'll enjoy The Office: A XXX Parody. It's not as faithful. The Michael Scott character is replaced by a hot chick (how dare they!) and subtlety goes out the window when she openly encourages inter-office fucking. This one has some NSFW language. Look for Brett's full review of each when his hand cramp goes away.

Xenu in your TV

Just when I was running out of things to mock (as if), Scientology decides to scream back into my life and start airing television commercials once again, which they haven't done in some time. I can pretty much submit this video without comment, other than to mention that they actually aired this in the actual real world on an actual channel (CNN that I know of). Get your checkbooks ready, heathens:

AMC sticking with this "having shows" thing

I've always been pretty clear on the fact that AMC stood for "American Movie Classics", which to me always meant that they showed, you know, movies. Then suddenly they decided to start airing original series. And then it turned out that people really liked these series, and they started winning all sorts of Emmys and stuff like that, and now it seems AMC would like to do this some more. Anyway, from the network that brought you the critically acclaimed Mad Men and Breaking Bad comes Rubicon:

"Rubicon," from writer Jason Horwitch and Warner Horizon and directed by Allen Coulter, zeroes in on New York analyst Will Travers (James Badge Dale, "24") who uncovers a clue to an unfolding global conspiracy while working at a national think tank. Miranda Richardson and Lili Taylor have also been tapped to star in the 12-episode series that is set to air next year.

Damnit, I really thought this was going to be about Rome in some way, since shows about Rome always seem to feature copious amounts of sex. This premise doesn't seem like it will include copious amounts of sex. Nor will it join AMC's other shows in capturing the critical "meth addict" and "make inappropriate comments about women and darkies" demographics. I bet you that people will watch it anyway, Emmy voters will blow a load, and that jerk in my office will tell me every five minutes I need to watch it. Thanks a million, AMC. I liked you better when you just aired Die Hard 2 on a 24-hour loop.

via New York Post (I couldn't believe it either)

NBC begins its assault on network TV September 14th

You mean we're finally done with these? Sweet. NBC is last in the line of major networks to release their premiere schedule. Which is just fine with me, because I've been saving up my vitriol for the only network who is actively trying to ruin television (most just do so passively). Look, don't get me wrong, NBC still has a ton of good shows. Probably the most good shows of any network. We can look forward to solid programming like Heroes, 30 Rock, The Office, and Chuck (midseason). There are also a few promising new shows like Community. But when you look past the quality programming, there it is staring you right in the face every night of the god damned week: The Jay Leno Show. NBC and that fat egotistical motherfucker are depriving us of five hours of primetime TV a week (and it's the good hours where you can allude to sex and almost swear if you're coy about it). That also means five shows worth of people who would have had jobs otherwise don't because of Jay Leno's ego. That would be one thing if he were funny, but newsflash: LENO SUCKS. 10pm Thursday night would have been the PERFECT place for you to air Mike's Pilot, peacock network. Now the world will never know what they're missing. I hope you're happy, NBC, I hope you're happy. Fuck you, Leno.

The full premiere schedule:

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 13
7-8:15 pm. – "Football Night in America"
8:15-11 pm – "NBC Sunday Night Football"

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 14
10-11 pm – "THE JAY LENO SHOW" (Series Premiere)

TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 15
8-10 pm – "The Biggest Loser"
10-11 pm – "THE JAY LENO SHOW"

THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 17
8-8:30 pm - "Saturday Night Live Weekend Update Thursday"
8:30-9 pm - "Parks and Recreation"
9-9:30 pm – "The Office"
9:30-10 pm – "COMMUNITY" (series premiere – moves to Thursdays 8-8:30 pm on October 8; "30 Rock" returns October 15, 9:30-10 pm)
10-11 pm – "THE JAY LENO SHOW"

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 21
8-10 pm – "Heroes" (two hour premiere, then TRAUMA premieres 9-10 pm Monday, September 28)
10-11 pm – "THE JAY LENO SHOW"

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 23
8-9 pm – "PARENTHOOD" (Series Premiere)
9-10 pm – "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit"
10-11 pm – "THE JAY LENO SHOW"

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 25
8-9 pm – "Law & Order"
9-10 pm – "Southland"
10-11 pm – "THE JAY LENO SHOW"

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 26
8-9 pm – "Dateline NBC"
9-10 pm – "TRAUMA" (encore broadcast)
10-11 pm – "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" (encore broadcast)
11:30 pm - 1:00 a.m. - "Saturday Night Live"

via The Live Feed

Obligatory "these people died" post

Rather than give you a post every time someone who worked in television died, we're just going to wait until three of them do and group them together. Because:

A) You don't really care
B) Lots of people die

So who died this week?

Lorena Gale - 51 - Stomach Cancer

You might remember her from: Various guest starring / recurring roles in shows like The X-Files and Battlestar Galactica.

Farrah Fawcett - 62 - Anal Cancer [ed: teehee]

You might remember her from: Charlie's Angels, other stuff, this poster.

Ed McMahon - 86 - Various health problems (aka he was old)

You might remember him from: 30 years as the announcer on The Tonight Show, Star Search

America hates policy, loves drivel

In news sure to surprise exactly no one, ABC's special on President Obama's health-care town hall meeting which aired last night was watched by what amounts to zero people (roughly). The Live Feed brings us the grim statistics:

The one-hour ABC News special "Primetime: Questions for the President: Prescription for America" (4.7 million viewers, 1.1 preliminary adults 18-49 rating) had the fewest viewers in the 10 p.m. hour. The special tied some 8 p.m. comedy repeats as the lowest-rated program on a major broadcast network.

So essentially, Americans can't be bothered to tune in for a Q&A with the leader of the free world about something that will undoubtedly affect their future, but 10.6 million made the time to tune in to watch two morons get divorced. This is usually where I would say something sanctimonious about weeping for America's future, but I didn't watch either. What was I doing last night? I'm not telling.*






*Your mom, obviously.


via The Live Feed

Brett's Emmy Picks: Best Drama Series

Our official bambat Emmy picks are beginning to wind down (once lazy-ass Mike catches up with the women's side of things). Today we bring you the first of the "best series" categories - Best Drama. As it turns out, I ended up picking one show from each of the major networks except CBS (because CBS is for old people), one from basic cable, and one from premium cable. This was not intentional, though I like the even distribution. You'll also notice these are all high concept Sci-Fi shows (except one, which is close enough). Whatever, deal with it. Without further ado, the nominations:








Heroes - NBC

Previous Nominations: 2008

From looking at the rest of the list, it should be pretty evident that this was the 5th and final nomination I chose. I'm certainly not going to deny that at times during its three-season run, Heroes has been downright dreadful. But at the same time, it is capable of as much brilliance as any other show on TV. Just watch Season One which was, justifiably, nominated for a "real" Emmy. No show on network TV was more adversely affected by the writers strike than Heroes, which basically had to scrap their entire Season Two storyline. It really took them more than a full season to recover. In truth, this nomination stems from the latter half of Season Three more than the first half. The show started slowly but by the end it had reminded us why the first season was among the best on TV and the show displayed so much promise. While it hasn't entirely regained my trust yet, it's well on its way.















Lost - ABC

Previous Nominations: 2005 (won), 2008

If I had any say in the matter, Lost would have been nominated for an Emmy every year of its existence not just in its first (when it won) and fourth seasons. Except for the somewhat-mediocre Season Three (again, blame the writers strike) this has been the best drama on network television five years running, bar none. Season Five was just as good, if not better, than any of the seasons that came before it. I credit a lot of this to the set enddate the show now operates with. The writers and producers now know exactly how long they have to wrap up their story, and more than ever seem to know exactly where they're going. Season Five's convoluted plotlines may have alienated many casual fans, but that's just fine with me. Lost has always truly been a show for the hardcore audience, and the more they embrace that, the better. They embraced that this season, and deserve a nomination for it. My greatest regret is that there's only one left.








Battlestar Galactica - Sci-Fi Channel

Previous Nominations: None

Regular readers of bambat will not be surprised at all by this nomination. I make no bones about the fact that Battlestar Galactica is my favorite show. Of course, it will never win (or likely even be nominated) for a real Emmy because they hate science fiction. Its a shame too, because anyone who hasn't watched this show is missing one of the most compelling pieces of television, nay, art ever created. To call Battlestar anything less than a masterpiece would be a disservice. Now that its four-season run has come to an end, it can be looked back on with appreciation for just what it was: one of the three or four best shows of any genre to ever air on American television. No hyperbole there, I promise you. I think the best testament to this show is that I have introduced it to a lot of people over the last year or so as its been winding down. People with disparate interests and tastes in television. Not a single one has done anything short of fall in love with it. If I may channel my inner geek: Best. Show. Ever.














Dexter - Showtime

Previous Nominations: 2008

Of all the shows on this list, Dexter is the newest one to me. I've only recently started catching up with it (thanks Showtime On Demand!) for the Summer of Couch (review coming soon). I blew through the three seasons of this show like only a nerd possessed is capable of, and just wow. This show is an absolute tour de force, mostly due to the incredibly strong performance of Michael C. Hall (who justifiably earned a nod in his own right in my best actor picks). While a show about a serial killer might seem a little macabre to you - and don't get me wrong, it is - it is also charming, witty, and thoroughly entertaining. Season Three was just as strong as the first two, featuring the amazing talents of Jimmy Smits as the shows primary guest star for the season (for which he just won a Saturn Award). In my eyes, this is the best show on the premium channels since the end of The Wire, and if you have access, I think its worth a look. Otherwise download it illegally you're out of luck.








Fringe - FOX

Previous Nominations: None

This show and I had a very weird relationship this year. Because it was a JJ Abrams joint, I of course was eager to check it out from the outset. I watched the first half of the season religiously until the hiatus, which as is far too typical these days was far too long (more shows should follow the 24/Lost model, and I think more will). By the time the show came back I had sort of lost track of it, and was watching too many other things to get back into it. Then once the season ended I blew through the whole second half of the show in a weekend, which made me question why I had ever fallen out of it in the first place. There's no doubt in my mind that this was the strongest new series of the year, and usually that's good enough for an Emmy nod on its own. But I don't want to sell Fringe short. It was hyped as being a spiritual successor to The X-Files, and it really is just as good and at least in its first season really exceeded that show in many ways. It also gets bonus points for featuring a twist ending which caused controversy among the way-too-sensitive crowd. If you don't know what I mean just google "fringe + panties in a bunch."

The Pick:

If you read the preceding write-ups, it should be pretty clear already what show I'm picking, so I won't beat around the bush. Battlestar Galactica was more than just a show for nerds (although we do love it, believe me). It was one of the most compelling, original (I know that seems odd given its a remake, but its similarities to the original are only cosmetic), and fascinating shows ever to air on television. Its final season, though it was split in two and separated by what seemed to be about two and a half millenia, was a fitting end to this epic saga. I have nothing more to say - the show is amazing, it was the best show on television this year. The end.

Further proof nerds are better than you

As you are probably blissfully unaware, the 35th annual Saturn Awards took place last night. The Saturns are known as either the awards for nerds, or the award show that actually rewards good television and movies rather than crap like Grey's Anatomy and Slumdog Millionaire. I've presented the list of major TV winners below and hey, wouldn't you know it, it's all shows that yours truly loves! If it weren't enough that they gave props to such excellent shows as Lost, Dexter, Heroes and Battlestar Galactica; they also put a big old dweeb cherry on top by giving a lifetime achievement award to... Wait for it... Leonard Nimoy! The only way this award show could be more orgasmic for nerds like me is if Summer Glau presented every award in a Princess Leia gold bikini.

Full list of TV winners below (follow the link if you want the movie winners. spoiler: just as nerdy):

THE WINNERS OF THE 35TH ANNUAL SATURN AWARDS

Television Series:
"Lost"

Syndicated/Cable Television Series:
"Battlestar Galactica"

Actor on Television:
Edward James Olmos ("Battlestar Galactica")

Actress on Television:
Mary McDonnell ("Battlestar Galactica")

Supporting Actor on Television:
Adrian Pasdar ("Heroes")

Supporting Actress on Televison:
Jennifer Carpenter ("Dexter")

Guest Starring Role on Television:
Jimmy Smits ("Dexter")

The Lifetime Achievement Award:
Leonard Nimoy

via Variety

SCRUBS: THE COLLEGE YEARS

Yeah yeah. There is a certain bambat bias that leans in the direction of shows like Scrubs (read: good shows). But who cares. It's not like there are that many big TV news stories in the summer anyway, so deal with it. More Scrubs.

This article comes to us via Spoiler TV. They say it comes from Ausiello at Entertainment Weekly, but since I can't find it on his site, we'll say they made it up. [UPDATE: it's from Korbi TV] But speculation sure is fun. Brett already told you Scrubs would be moving from the hospital to the classroom. But there's oh so much more.

Sacred Heart won't disappear completely though. Dr. Cox and Dr. Turk's students will end up seeing several familiar faces while doing rotations there every now and then... Braff, Sarah Chalke (Elliot), Judy Reyes (Carla) and Ken Jenkins (Dr. Kelso) have signed on to appear as guest stars throughout the season.

Well that's good news. What about the janitor and Jordan?

Neil Flynn (The Janitor) and Christa Miller (Jordan) have both landed series regular roles on new sitcoms, however Christa can do double duty on "Scrubs" since her new gig is Lawrence's other show, "Cougar Town," which will film right next door.

Sounds great. Can it get better? Maybe.

As for last season's newbies, Eliza Coupe, Betsy Beutler, Sonal Shah and Todd Bosley, the interns who were once rumored to be "Scrubs" future, I'm told Coupe will likely be the only one considered to return in some regular capacity.

Thank god the hot funny one is back. I'll be sure to tune in.

Insiders tell me the producers are busy brainstorming a new name for the show as well... something that will probably include "Scrubs," but somehow distinguish that it's different from the show we've watched for the last eight years.

If I can find it. Oh and one final thing.

The med students will be comprised of actors new to the "Scrubs" family, though casting has not yet begun. Lawrence did, however, mention that ABC is encouraging them to hire one big name, someone recognizable.

Sources close to the series tell me "Gilmore Girls"' Lauren Graham is currently at the top of their wish list.

Well fuck me. I don't know what to think here. I used to like Graham. Never really watched Gilmore Girls but she seemed cute and funny. Then I heard what a total bitch she is in real life, and I just can't bring myself to care much about her. Maybe she'll be good maybe she won't. bambat will tune in and you can be sure we'll let you know how it works out.

Sorry for the long post, but it's Scrubs so suck it.

Source: Spoiler TV