I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS

• The little girl's sassy, hands in the pockets stance and chilled out posture.
• Her out of control frizzy hair.
• The mom's hand gestures and the way she holds her purse.
  
• The dad's one raised eyebrow and ridiculous chin hair.
  
• I've never seen sprinkles that look like the first 10 they show. And the ice cream looks ridiculously fake too. What the fuck kind of scoop is that? The generic cup, too. Ugh.
  
• The extras who are part of "the network" pretending to do some sort of work. Is there any point to them anymore? Have we stretched the metaphor enough? We get it.
  
• The sprinkles are not in an area where an employee can easily access them. No they're right out there on the counter. Not even facing the back.
  
• He pours fucking sprinkles all over the fucking counter. The whole fucking container. No one even tries to stop him.
  
• The little girl's "Yo, Pops! Ma' shoes, son!" reaction to the sprinkles being poured.
• The dad's satisfied (?) "Heh" when he finishes pouring them. Seriously replay it again and again. I'm almost positive it was added in post. I imagine the conversation. "Now, he's poured the sprinkles. How does he feel about it?" "Well satisfied I guess." "Yes, but how do we know this???"
  
• "Do you want whipped cream?" What the fuck? Honestly, I know you finally have your big line in the commercial after watching the idiot family, but this is your delivery? And that stupid fuck glance back at the mountain of sprinkles. What the fuck.
  
• The annoying Verizon background music at the end.

Don't watch it more than three times or you might become a danger to yourself or others.